A Golden Rose Outtakes
by bubblygal92
Summary: Set in the Golden Rose verse. A collection of one-shots, drabbles, missing moments and deleted scenes from my main fic 'A Golden Rose'. General fluff, angst, romance, humour. Requests in the reviews. Read and enjoy!
1. Pranking Jack

**Disclaimer: Doctor Who belongs to the BBC. I do not own any of it, nor do I make any money from it.**

**A/N Welcome to the first outtake of 'A Golden Rose'. All chapters in this story will be from that universe and will involve missing moments, deleted scenes and any alternate endings that you wish to see. They will be one-shots only and are not in order.**

**This outtake is set between Chapter 66 and 67 of 'A Golden Rose' or canonically, between 'Planet of the Dead' and 'End of Time: Part 1'. It was requested when I said that I did not want to write the events of 'The Waters of Mars'.**

**So, here's a light-hearted ficlet in place of a gut-wrenching episode. **

**Happy Reading!**

* * *

"...and then she tells the bloody Vrin prince to shove off," the Doctor regaled Rose with the tale of the recent trip of Vrindelore that he and Jenny had taken. "We were both lucky to keep our heads."

Rose burst into giggles. "Oh my god," she gasped. "How did you escape?"

"Ah," he looked slightly uncomfortable. "The prince simply wouldn't take 'no' for an answer so our dear daughter twisted one of his tentacles quite painfully. The poor bloke was in agony."

Rose clamped her lips shut, determined not to laugh. She ought not to condone her daughter's violence but she was just a little proud. So sue her. She wisely decided to change the subject. "So, are we there yet?" she asked in an exaggerated bored voice.

The Doctor rolled his eyes at her, a smile at his lips. "Nearly," he said. "Bowie Base Twenty-Three has the best pizza in the solar system."

"So you keep saying," Rose said as she stood up. "I have yet to have this magnificently best pizza that you keep telling me about."

"Cheeky, you," he wagged his finger at her. "Just you see."

"Are we gonna need spacesuits?" she asked as the TARDIS materialised on Mars.

"Nah, by the time Bowie Base number twenty-three comes around, humans have learned to use biosphere technology. Completely breathable atmosphere coupled with lovely Martian views," he explained as he twisted the final dials and then gestured to the doors.

Rose nodded as she bounded to the doors and opened them. "Biosphere, eh?" Rose asked, thankful that the TARDIS was protecting her. She didn't much fancy suffocating.

The Doctor walked in behind her and smiled sheepishly. "Ah," he said, tugging on his ear. "There might be a slight possibility that we are not where we are supposed to be."

"Can you, for once, just admit you're wrong?" Rose grumbled as she stomped back to the console. She rapidly began to press the buttons, seemingly taking out her frustration on the poor TARDIS controls. A chiding beep made her actions relax slightly.

"I'm not wrong," the Doctor protested as he walked back to her. "It was an honest mistake."

Rose resisted the very childish urge to stick her tongue out at him and instead settled for nearly crushing the poor helmic regulator. She ignored the Doctor's mutterings about his frankly magnificent driving skills and focused on getting an accurate reading on the scanner of their precise whereabouts.

"...and that time, the thermo buffers weren't even working but I still managed to..."

"Doctor," Rose interrupted, staring at the scanner with apprehension in her eyes.

"...perfect landing ever. Welll, I say perfect. More like astounding. Astoun..."

"Doctor," Rose said, more insistently and the Doctor actually paused in his rambling to check what had got her so worked up.

"It's Bowie Base One," he read and then looked at the date. "2059. We should go."

"Yep, immediately," Rose agreed and the two of them sprang into action, piloting the TARDIS away as quickly as possible. No interfering with fixed points.

* * *

"The pizza on Barcelona is good," Rose offered as they floated along in the vortex. "We could go there again."

The Doctor made a face. "Barcelonan pizza...not one of my favourites," he said.

"That's because you ordered the one with jalapenos and then hated it," Rose said patiently. "Fine, let's just forget about the pizza. We could go to Cardiff and see Jenny."

His face brightened up immediately as it did with the notion of seeing their daughter. Then the tiniest of scowls rose up. "We have to see Jack as well," he said petulantly like a child who had been told that there would be no ice cream if they didn't eat their greens.

"He's her boss and our friend," Rose said, hiding her smile. "You might as well get used to seeing him. It's been almost two years."

The Doctor actually pouted at that. "I'm used to it," he said. "I just don't like it."

Rose turned on her pleading eyes. "Please, Doctor," she said. "I haven't seen Jenny in so long."

The Doctor almost melted but then stubbornly shook his head. "Not gonna work," he said.

"Fine," Rose said. "We could prank Jack," she said, hoping to sway him.

The Doctor was immediately excited. "Now you're talking," he said, looking like she had announced that they were building a planet of bananas. Although, that might exist. Did it? They really should research...

"Doctor," Rose's voice pulled him away from banana-filled fantasies.

"Yes, pranking Jack," he nodded happily. That was almost as good as a planet of bananas. "What should we do this time? We could hypnotise the Weevil to sing 'I'm too sexy' again."

Rose laughed at the memory. The entire Torchwood team had been flummoxed when Janet had started singing that song in her gravelly voice.

"Or, we could hide chunks of meat in Jack's office for the pterodactyl to find," he suggested.

"Yeah, we want to prank him, not kill him," Rose said, putting end to that line of thought.

_Damn_, thought the Doctor. "Alright, nothing injuring or fatal. We could always scare him," he said.

"How?" Rose asked curiously.

"Bad Wolf," he said, grinning at her.

"What about me?" Rose asked him in confusion.

"We could take a page out of your book," he said.

"What exactly would be that?" Rose asked even as an idea began to form in her mind.

He rolled his eyes. "You, my dear Rose," he said. "You wrote your name on petals and spread them across time and space."

Rose blushed and cleared her throat. "You want to graffiti the Torchwood hub?" she asked, choosing not to comment on the other words.

The Doctor's lips twitched in amusement at having embarrassed her. "Yes," he nodded. "We'll start small, with things scratched on surface, eventually going as far as inputting a virus in the hub computer that will make those words appear at intervals."

"Alright, sounds good. How far do you wanna spread them out?" she asked.

"Seven months should do," he said, after thinking.

"Why?" Rose asked curiously.

"Seven letters," he grinned cheekily.

Rose laughed. "Alright, let's go."

* * *

Captain Jack Harkness congratulated his team on a job well done and returned to his office. They had finally managed to track down that Plasmavore who had been working at a blood donation clinic.

He sat down in his chair and put up his feet on the desk. His eyes registered something different and he peered at the odd spot on his desk. He lifted his legs off the desk and looked at it closely. There, as clear as the day, were two words that chilled him. _Bad Wolf._

He jumped back, his heart thumping loudly. He read it again, just to make sure he hadn't misread it. Was it a warning? Was something coming? He spent the whole day worrying.

Three days later, Jack and Gwen were at the shooting range for their weekly practice. "Here," Jack handed her a triple enfolded sonic disrupter. "Try using this."

"Uh, is it safe?" Gwen asked him apprehensively.

"Sure," he nodded. "But I will fetch the protective eyewear just in case."

Gwen nodded and Jack went to get them from the tiny cupboard where they were kept. There, on the door, were the scratched words: _Bad Wolf._

He flinched back and let out a cry of surprise.

"Jack!" Gwen called. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "It's nothing!"

The words started appearing more frequently after that. All over the Hub, around Cardiff, and it got him worried. Sometimes they were subtle, like words scratched over surfaces or graffiti. Other times, they interrupted the computers in the Hub by having those words randomly pop up.

Whatever the reason for it, Jack was completely terrified. He checked the footage in and around the hub to see who exactly was responsible but the footage remained clean. There wasn't even any trace of tampering or sabotage.

"Jack," Jenny called and he jumped violently. "Whoa," Jenny said. "What's wrong? You've been jumpy all week."

"Nothing, nothing," he said hastily. "I'm fine."

Jenny eyed him critically. "Are you sure? You look like a deer caught in the wolf light," she said.

"What?" he yelped.

"A deer caught in the headlights," Jenny repeated and looked at him like he was insane. "Jack, are you feeling alright?"

Jack nodded hurriedly and almost ran back into his office. Jenny waited till he was completely out of sight before bursting into giggles. Her parents could be positively evil sometimes.

Back in the TARDIS, the Doctor and Rose collapsed with laughter. "Oh, poor Jack," Rose giggled.

"What should we do next?" the Doctor asked. "We could take Gwen and Ianto into confidence," he suggested.

"Ooh, can we also add signs of the Face of Boe?" Rose asked in excitement.

"Brilliant," the Doctor grinned.

Rose laughed and shook her head. "How long do you think until he figures out that we're all messing with him?" she asked.

The Doctor shrugged and grinned mischievously. "I don't know," he said. "But I do hope it's a very long time away."

* * *

**A/N And that's all. I did want to leave it a bit open-ended. Poor Jack.**

**Any other outtakes that you want to see? From Doctors 9, 10, 11 or even the ones before. Or some from River and John. Leave me requests in the reviews. Ooh, except smut. Because I suck at writing it and it will just be clumsy.**

**The expression of Rose 'writing her name on petals and spreading them across time and space' was coined by RTD and I take no credit. I just thought it was beautiful way of putting it.**

**Thanks for reading. Let me know what you want next.**

**~ Phoenix**


	2. Awkward Moments

**Disclaimer: Doctor Who belongs to the BBC. I do not own anything, nor do I get any money for it.**

**A/N Outtake Number Two from 'A Golden Rose'. I am recently suffering from grief and sadness brought about by 'The Angels Take Manhattan' and therefore I wanted to cheer myself (and everyone else who might be suffering from the same) up. **

**So, here is a funny, short ficlet with the Ponds. I want to remember them being as happy and fun as they were. Here it is, a short tribute to the gloriousness that is the Ponds.**

**The suggestion for this came from Brittnodo. The prompt was the awkwardness brought about by Rory walking in on Rose and the Doctor (or River and John) when they were -ahem- getting busy. Hope you enjoy it.**

**This is set after Chapter 63 of 'A Golden Rose' in Rose's original timeline. Canonically, after 'A Good Man Goes to War'**

**Happy Reading!**

* * *

**Awkward Moments**

Amy woke up slowly. On reflex, her hand wandered to the other side of her bed to search for her husband. Only the duvet met her hand. She opened her eyes blearily and looked at the clock on the wall. Of course, the clock's only purpose was to show how many hours had passed. There was no concept of time on the TARDIS.

And right now, according to that clock, she'd had a full 8 hour sleep. Might explain why Rory was no longer next to her. Being a nurse, he had learned early on to expect very little sleep. Most days he could get by with five hours a night. But when he woke, Amy did too. He must have slipped away very quietly this time. She would find a way to thank him for letting her have a bit of a lie-in.

She and Rory had recently started travelling with the Doctor and Rose again. Demons Run was a distant memory by now. She and Rory had been spending time with their daughter and son-in-law and it was all settling down quite well.

Stretching, Amy got out of bed. She brushed her teeth, took a shower and then wandered out of their bedroom. She supposed she would find Rory in the kitchen or something. As she was walking, she caught sight of a pair of double doors painted TARDIS blue.

Amy frowned. She had never seen that room before. She shouldn't be surprised; the TARDIS always moved rooms about after all. She had once wandered around for an hour looking for the swimming pool. Amy approached the door cautiously. She rested her ear against the door and heard the unmistakeable sound of the Doctor moaning Rose's name.

She jumped away from the door as if electrocuted. She clamped a hand to her mouth to stop her giggling. Tiptoeing past the room, she hurried away to the kitchen as quickly as she could.

Rory was in there and he smiled at her. "Morning," he smiled. "Tea?"

"Morning, Mr. Pond," she greeted, still with laughter in her voice. "And tea would be good."

Rory observed her behaviour curiously. "Everything alright?" he asked her.

Amy bit down on her lip. "Yep, everything's fine," she said. An idea struck her. "Rory, did you, by any chance, see a room with TARDIS blue double doors on the way here?" she asked.

"Yeah, I was a bit surprised," he nodded. "Dunno why though, the rooms move around all the time," he shrugged. "Why?" he asked her, a bit suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing, it's just that I had seen it before and left my scarf in there," Amy made up, keeping a straight face.

"Oh," Rory said. "When?"

"Ages back," Amy said. "The room disappeared and it's only just come back now."

"Why were you in there in the first place?" he asked her curiously.

"Just exploring," she said. "Please," she said. "It's my favourite scarf that you gave me for my birthday."

He smiled. "Of course," he said. "You drink your tea. I'll go and get it."

"Thank you very much," Amy managed to say with a straight face.

Rory whistled to himself as he sauntered down the corridors and got to the room Amy had mentioned. He opened the door and walked straight inside.

In the kitchen, Amy waited for it and then burst into laughter when she heard two loud screams. Specifically, Rory and the Doctor's.

She stepped out of the kitchen just in time to see Rory run out of the room, with both his hands clamped on his eyes. The Doctor ran out, clutching a sheet around his waist, his whole face so red that he matched Amy's hair. Amy burst into loud peals of laughter at the absurd scene. Rose came running out of the room behind the Doctor with a robe tied around her and joined Amy in her laughter.

"That...you...what...were...you...what the hell?" the Doctor sputtered at Rory.

"Sorry, sorry," Rory said, still not taking his hands off his eyes.

"You don't barge into a room like that," the Doctor said, his voice going unnaturally high and shrill.

Rose burst into more laughter and Amy giggled loudly.

"I'm sorry," Rory said. "If I knew...I didn't exactly need to see _that_, you know."

"Ooh, what did you see?" Amy asked in interest.

Rory took his hand off one eye to glare at his wife. She had known and she had sent him there deliberately. His glare was meant to be frightening but with one of his hands still covering his eyes, it was just funny. Amy smiled cheekily at him.

"Why are you glaring at her?" the Doctor demanded. "YOU were the one who ran into our room without knocking."

"I only came in because Amy said she left a scarf in there," Rory said weakly.

"What?" the Doctor rounded on Amy.

Amy stopped laughing long enough to explain. "Well, the room just appeared and I heard you raggedy man," she said and the Doctor flushed. "Quite the loud one in the sack, aren't you?" she teased.

"Ye...that's not the point!" the Doctor sputtered. "You knew and you sent your husband in there."

"Yeah," Rory said, glad to see that the Doctor's ire wasn't directed at him any longer. "I had to see him mid-thrust..."

As soon as the words were out, Rory's eyes widened in horror and the Doctor's face flamed madly. Rose was getting red in face by the sheer amount of laughter. She was doubled over, clutching her stomach. Amy was much the same.

"Mi...mid thrust," Amy gasped, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Oh my god."

Rory chanced a quick look at the Doctor and then ran back into his and Amy's room. The Doctor glared at Amy but in his embarrassed state, the glare didn't have the desired effect. He stomped back into his room, muttering about taking Rose and living on an isolated island.

Amy and Rose exchanged mirthful looks and left to comfort their respective husbands.

* * *

Much later, Amy found Rose in the kitchen, making toast. "Hi," Amy said. "How's the Doctor?"

"Better," Rose said. "Mind you, he's not going to be looking Rory in the eye for a few weeks."

Amy snorted. "That's not a problem. Rory is refusing to come out of the room. Says the Doctor is going to throw him into a supernova like the TARDIS manual," she said.

"He wouldn't," Rose assured her. "At least, I don't think so," she added.

Amy giggled. "You didn't mind, did you?" she asked, slightly nervous.

Rose waved it away. "Don't worry," she said. "Believe it or not, Rory is not the first person to walk in on us and he won't be the last," she said, offering Amy some toast.

"Really?" Amy asked, biting into it.

Rose nodded. "There was that time that Jack walked in. But instead of running out, he did ask if he could join us," she said and Amy giggled. "Tell Rory it will be fine."

Amy nodded and the two women ate their toast in companionable silence.

"So," Amy said after a while. "Has he been loud in all his regenerations?"

* * *

**A/N And that's all. Short and sweet and funny.**

**Thanks to Brittnodo for this amazing idea. Hope you liked it, dear!**

**Anyway, I'm off to wallow some more in my grief. Leave me any more ideas for outtakes in the reviews. **

**To the others who have left ideas before, I am working on writing them. I will put them up immediately I finish writing them.**

**Cheers**

**~ Phoenix**


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